Breaking up is one of the hardest things a person ever has to do. In a break up, you usually still have some feelings for the other person, at least enough that you care about their well-being and don’t want to see them hurt. There are a few ways to go about a break-up. No one way is universally better than the other. You have to choose the method that feels best for you.
Ways to Break Up
Letter or Email
The knee-jerk reaction of breaking up via email is that it’s impersonal or tacky. However, it shouldn’t be viewed in this light. Sending an email allows you to get your full and complete thoughts across and allows the other person ample opportunity to digest these thoughts and formulate their response. This outcome is hard to achieve in a face-to-face encounter.
In Person
Breaking up in person very challenging but can also be very fulfilling. It provides the chance for a more intimate connection that is lost over email. However, it also can lead to fights, tears, and excess heartache. Worst of all, it can lead to some type of persuasion away from your original intents. Before breaking up in person, write down an outline of all the things you want to be sure to convey. It is important that you say everything you want to say and stick to your guns.
General Break Up Tips
Full Communication
Breaking up is the chance to say everything you want to say. It obviously marks a distinctly new direction of the relationship you have with that person. Outline this direction fully. What do you want from the other person? To go your separate ways? To still do a random booty call thing while each of you are in between relationships? To be “just friends”? Whatever it is, make your intentions completely clear to the other person. When the other person knows exactly what you want and expect from them, it will save a lot of time and headache down the road.
Constructive Criticism is Okay
It’s tempting when breaking up with someone to air all of the grievances you have with that person. While full-out criticism isn’t advised, a little loving, gentle constructive criticism is very thoughtful. While they might initially take offense to it, they’ll probably appreciate it down the road. After all, the two of you have spent some time together and can serve as “consultants” of sorts for helping each other improve your dating resume for future relationships. Be open, honest, and loving. Use the “compliment sandwich” model. Example, “Jim, one of the reasons I like you is because of your fun personality, but sometimes it was just a little over-the-top for me. I think you’d be more compatible with a girl who has a higher energy level!”