It’s one of the worst feelings in the dating world: having strong feelings for someone who doesn’t even have you on their radar. How do you get them to feel the same way for you? Is there ever hope that the two of you will be together? The answers to those questions are “it’s really hard” and “probably not”, respectively. I hate to burst your bubble, but if you’ve got it bad for someone else and they don’t seem to even notice you’re in the room, it’s going to be very hard to change that. To be honest, the best thing you could do would be to forget about your feelings.
Alright, since I know that little talk didn’t dissuade you in the slightest, let’s get to work on some things you can do to get them to like you.
Rule #1: Respect Yourself
No one, and I mean no one wants to be with someone who doesn’t respect themselves. Always put your needs first. This means that in all things you do to get the other person’s attention, none of it should come off as desperate or pathetic. The biggest secret to getting someone to like you is to like yourself! Once they see that you like you, they’ll know the coast is clear for them to like you as well. Demonstrate value by thinking for yourself and being honest with how you really feel.
The Ol’ Switch’eroo
If you like someone who doesn’t seem to like you back, it’s possible that it’s only because liking you hasn’t crossed their mind. Confront them with your feelings. No texts or emails. Tell them face to face. A good tip is to “pull the rug out from under them”. Here’s what I mean by that: tell them openly and honestly that you had feelings for them and were interested in dating them, but that you’re moving past that.
First off, they’ll be startled at the realization that you were into them. And secondly, they’ll want to know why you don’t feel that way any longer! People love to feel wanted. Even if they knew you had a thing for them, once you tell them that you’re over it, you’ll be amazed at what they’ll do to get those feelings back! This move will put you in the driver’s seat and have them chasing after you. But it’s important to follow through with your declaration. You can’t say that you’re over your feelings for them, and then 10 minutes later go right back to gazing at them lovingly. Hold your ground, be “just friends”, and let them change the way they think about you.
Avoid the All-At-Once Attempt
The final tip here is to not put all of your eggs in one basket. Getting someone to feel attracted towards you in a process that takes time. It’s like a long, slow dance in which each person gradually moves closer to one other. Don’t try to speed up this process by forcing the issue. This means no sudden lunges to try to kiss them, no out-of-left-field declarations of your true love in front of all your family and friends. Let the process happen naturally and resist the urge to swing for the fences.